Accidental Butt Stuff – Sex Fails

Accidental Butt Stuff – Sex Fails


The moral of this story is don’t do
your crush’s geometry homework, it will come back
to fuck you in the ass. Now I’m nervous, you know? In high school,
I was obsessed with this guy. He was older.
He was so cool. He was banned
from a Spencer’s Gifts. His name was Tanner Wells.
That’s a hot name. I couldn’t believe,
I get to geometry class, Tanner is in it
because he’s older than me. So what are the odds?
And he sits behind me and he lets me do all of
his homework the entire year. “Are you sure?” Fast forward six years later,
I’m home from college, I’m drinking at a bar with
my friends and who walks in? Tanner Wells, all right?
And Tanner Wells approaches me. It was …
We start talking about geometry. Before I know it,
we’re making out at a bar. I’m in shock. You know people
can see us, right? I think I blacked out
because I was so happy. Also, I had 10 shots of tequila,
but who cares? I was living.
Next thing I remember, we are in a cab back
to his place, his mom’s place. To be fair,
Tanner only lived at home because he didn’t have a job
or any prospects at all. We get to his mom’s house,
we have to sneak upstairs and we get into his room and Tanner insists
we keep the lights off because he doesn’t want
to wake his mom because his mom was asleep, two rooms down
with her door shut. Because that’s how
you wake up someone, right? When they’re sleeping.
A light. So we’re having sex in the dark.
It really was like old times. He was behind me and I was doing
whatever he said and then Tanner decides to off
road into my asshole, hard. He claims it was an accident
and I believe him. I mean, I did
all of his geometry homework. The dude literally
never learned angles. So I scream and proceed
to hyperventilate and just, “Ahh!”
He’s just standing over me as if I’m a dog about
to piss all over the carpet. Like, “How do I stop
doing this?” Finally, I catch my breath
and can breath normally. And I do what any girl
would do, I apologize. And then when I thought
it couldn’t get any worse, Tanner’s mom walks in. Tanner runs into the closet,
I assume to not get grounded. I just cover myself
in his Washington Redskins sheet and hold eye contact with
his mom for a solid minute. I just pick up my shit
and follow her out. His mom drove me home
as if it was a date. We just ride in silence
for 20 minutes listening to the Starbucks
Christmas album. Just as Micheal Buble’s cheerful
Here Comes Santa Claus enters the car,
maybe it was the music, the Christmas spirit,
I don’t know, I just instinctively
give Tanner’s mom a hug. To be fair, I just had anal, I needed to feel something
and I just say Happy Thanksgiving. We never spoke again,
me or Tanner’s mom, Tanner, the whole Wells clan
but I did hear that Tanner Wells is now engaged, so congrats
to the new Mrs. Wells. I hope it fits, the ring. Also, his dick in your asshole.

100 thoughts on “Accidental Butt Stuff – Sex Fails

  1. Welcome to the new Comedy Central Originals channel! Subscribe for Sex Fails and much more: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNVBYBxWj9dMHqKEl_V8HBQ?sub_confirmation=1

  2. Hanna, that shit is funny!!! You probably didn't think so at the time, but I'm glad you're able to laugh about it now.

  3. All the rest of your videos are not available in my country 'canada' is there any way you'd be able to change that?

  4. Why is it okay to hire queer actors to mock hetrosexual people in their sexuality when we know feminist hate heterosexuality sexuality and see as oppressive to women..

    Just use token hetrosexual people as a bait and switch.. Comedy Central is literally just LGBT now

  5. I thought this was real lol . This girl is quite funny. I would pork her aswell. Btw that wasn't I tend to mean her 'ass well' I wouldnt pork her Ass Well. Nor would I encourage her to rim me. I'd feel dirty afterward even though she'd have cleaned me like a beeday, the sound of her spitting grains of sand and bits of pooh, lint and the like would make me feel like a shitcunt. Especially if I had squirted and my resolve was down

  6. There must be another drought in California cause this comment section is filled with thirsty coastal mofos

  7. Goes to show women only want the good looking guys that gonna pump them and dump them doesnt matter if he a big pussy and hides in the clauset from his mommy hahahahahahaha

  8. "I probably passed out from being so happy… Or the 10 shots of tequila…" 😹😹😹 That was a sentence said weekly on Love Line, too.

  9. "Accidental butt stuff" describes my first time

    No I wasn't "catching"

    That would have been "intentional butt stuff" 😀

  10. And the fact that you blacked out from alcohol, thus removing your ability to give consent, didn't strike you as alarming? smh

  11. her ex fuckbuddy Tanner gets enganged
    she proceeds to let everybody know a Tanner Wells who just got engaged was a jobless loser who turns the light off so his mom can't hear him, banged her in the bumhole cause he sucked at geometry and his mom than came in and he hid in the fucking closet, than she and his mother had a staredown and than she wished her happy Thanksgiving
    she: ohhh and i wish him a happy marriage, hope he got better at angles, cause if not, happy Thanksgiving

  12. Maybe, Just Maybe after discussing an accidental bum-tunnel expedition, perhaps one should choose better words than "pick up my s***!" Just Sayin'

  13. I dont know about you but I wouldn't be on YouTube saying how I got anally assaulted by tanner wells talking about it is one thing but showing your face, not me .

  14. That one time when my wife stuck 2 fingers in my ass….at first i was like "WTF" but with a little saliva i didnt want her to stop! Now that is my go to for masturbating is all butt play!

  15. So you're the one who did my son's geometry homework for a year. Nice Job. Thanks to you, he lives at home and still doesn't know his angles!!!

  16. She's pretty cute!! Soooo!!!, basically he stuck it in "The Non-pregnancy Hole"!!!!!! What's wrong with that!! ???

  17. hot chick cool story, guy would have possibly had a chance with her, for relationship or just more sex. but he had a fit of what was he thinking. moral of this story is treat women with respect, don't just take that for granted she'll into that.

  18. There are better gentlemen out there the right one will come along all ladies say we have to kiss a few frogs before we meet a prince.

  19. Supposedly tanner was at least 23 so this cool guy she liked was living with his mom who still treated him like a child because he isn’t allowed to have sex in the house.
    I’m not Putting him down because he lived with his mom I lived with my mom till I was 24 because I live in California but at least my mom was cool enough to give me privacy with women

  20. You really know how to explain things in a way to say it anywhere, da,da,la,la off road and lalawowo angles were perfect English to us or me people who had to talk
    Like that cus we were in a public place,but your stuff is legendary small talk, or funny,you could of hung out us and not skip a beat
    Rmn corona ca.chow

  21. Re-Volt OST (N64 Version): FrontEnd (Menu Theme)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxQb9GfG-zY&list=PLTmomcjY1VRxJ3EAJqg2xsmx9qxPIBgKI

  22. In other words, she fucked a Chad because she thought he was hot. Even though he had no job, lived with his mom and then can't man up in an awkward situation.

    SLUT

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